2014 Men's Varsity
Cambridge 50 - 40 Oxford 
Report by Tarun Manjunath
"The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team." - Phil Jackson
You can write about individual performances. You can make a report an egocentric autobiography of the captain. But there is a time and place for that. And now is the time to save the words just for the rest of the victorious CUPC Varsity Team.
The 2014 Varsity match took place on 17th-18th May at Riley's in Oxford. With a team of twelve containing six debutants, Cambridge successfully defended their Varsity title with a joint-record 50-40 win.
After arriving at midday, it soon transpired that the entire Cambridge team had committed a fashion faux pas by all wearing the same shirts. Fortunately, the Oxford team had done the same.
Despite appearing to talk out of his arse, the Oxford captain Gerald de Oliveira managed to organise the first round of singles to start at 1pm. Each player would play three frames against an Oxford counterpart, with six matches going on at once.
Having selected experienced players to play in the first six matches and give us a solid start, Cambridge promptly found themselves 12-6 down. Steven 'Sherb' Herbert was unlucky to lose 3-0 against some 'pigeon-toed Oxford seed'. Yiannis 'Silent Force' Stylianidis did the age-old CUPC trick: play a sensational positional shot to get on the black and then miss it. If it wasn't for that, he would have deservedly beaten incomprehensible Oxford captain Gerald de Oliveira. Last year's Standout Performer Niall 'Chauffer' Murphy did well to get one frame on Riley's 'Table of Isolation'. And in Distasteland, Rik 'Trikshot' O'Connor lost 3-0.
But we did win some of the first six matches. Former captain Drew 'Miley' Miley beat Oxford President Ben Green 2-1. Because he is just better.
Ben 'Classical Music' Jarrett won 2-1 against a tattooed bloke. For all Ben knew, it may have been Louis from One Direction.
So we found ourselves in a familiar position: losing. How would the six (mostly) newer players react? Only by winning 14 of the next 18 frames in a remarkable show of guts and determination.
Playing a massive part in this momentum swing was a 3-0 win for George 'Don't Want to Sound Like A Twat' Seabridge over an Oxford debutant. A guy who Oxford hilariously claimed was the New Mark Selby Obviously Definitely. Whatever. He would not got anywhere near the Cambridge side. Oxford don't half talk a lot of shi...
Anyway, Kris 'Blackball Lover' Johannsson also won 3-0 on his Varsity debut. James Ross continued his sensational Easter Term form by winning 2-1.
Homerton is by far the best college this world ever seen. Tom 'Dutch people are more beautiful' Brouwer, Luke 'Biggest Northerner in the team' Harper, Tarun 'nickiminaj' Manjunath all recorded 2-1 wins, demonstrating plenty of 'Homerton spunk'. But we're from a MODEST college, so we don't need to go on about how brilliant and inspirational those performances were.
So from 12-6 down to 20-16 up in no time. And that proved to be the decisive period in the match, as Cambridge didn't lose the lead from then on in.
Following that was the first few rounds of the traditional Singles tournament. Everyone participates in a cash tournament with £3 entry. But I have been assured by CUPC Legends past and present that "nobody gives a toss" about this tournament, so let's move on to the doubles (apparently Kris Johannson got really far; semi finals. Well done obvs)
Sadly, in an attempt to limit my influence on the rest of my team, Bellend de Oliveira put our doubles match on the 'Table of Isolation', miles away from the rest of the action. So I didn't really see the doubles. Honourable mentions go to Drew Miley and Tom Brouwer who used their 'Homerton Spunk' to win their match 3-0, and to Kris and James, who probably had to resort to steroids to win 2-1.
The result was an 8-10 loss in all doubles frames but Cambridge did leave with an overnight lead of 28-26.
Following a sensational curry and piss up on Saturday night, the Cambridge team arrived in the best state to see the match through. 46 was the magic number, the number of frames needed to win the Varsity title for the second year in a row. Going in to the day, Cambridge were on 28, with 36 singles frames still to be played.
And that second day quickly became a blur of euphoria, as Cambridge swiftly wrapped up the 18 frames they needed to WIN VARSITY, the first win on Oxford soil for 6 years. Honourable mentions go to Luke Harper, James Ross and Tarun 'Beautiful Independent That Can Handle anything' (or BITCH for short) Manjunath for winning 3-0 on that Second Day. The final score was Oxford 40-50 Cambridge, matching the record score for an away win. Yeah, I know I said I would cut out the egocentricity and gloating... but that's what Varsity's all about, right?
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